
Winter; Messy, Chaotic and Absurd & We Still Love It!!!
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Winter, that magical time of year when the days get shorter, the temperatures drop and the universe seems dead set on making you question your life choices. As much as we all love hot chocolate, cozy fires and the promise of snowball fights lets not sugarcoat it, Winter is chaotic and/or absolutely savage. There is such a comedic breakdown of the obstacles we all inevitably face while surviving this frostbiting season.
We start the season optimistic; we dig out our coats, puffed up like the marshmallow man with the promise of feeling warmth. Then comes the first test; the zipper, it worked perfectly fine last year and has decided to bring the "battle of wills" as you yank, twist and contort your body into positions only a yoga instructor would recommend. You finally succeed and then you realize you are trapped. You can't move and you can barely see your feet; god forbid you try to sit down. It's like wearing a straitjacket!
Then comes the moment when you step outside; only to meet your icy nemesis! The puddle; the invisible ice trap camouflaged by the thin layer of water. Your foot slides so conveniently out from under you in a way that absolutely defies physics and for one magical second you feel as though you are auditioning for a slapstick comedy. You try to play it cool but you know the truth, you've executed the most graceful face plant in history. Wishing all along that no one saw you!!!
High hopes brings the purchase of an arsenal of fluffy socks; promising warmth and comfort, the moment you put them on they begin to rebel! Your feet are cold or the so comfy socks are halfway down; you begin to question the existence, of "warmth" in the universe.
Then comes the gloves; they multiply when you do not need them and vanish into thin air when you do. You could tear apart the drawers, closets and even the refrigerator (because who's to say they're not in there?) All while the other one is right there; staring at you, with it's single existence. Who's judging when it is too cold to care; wear one glove and one mitten, The wind? Now is the scarf; you are thwarted by the wind. Your scarf is now wrapped around your face; you feel like a mummy, your hat is blowing away and your boots are gaining snow.
Ah, the joy of building a snowman. We gather all the materials with the excitement of a five-year-old on Christmas morning. Everything is coming together perfectly until the middle ball starts rolling away, just like a rebellious teenager. The head won't stay on and the carrot nose looks like it's had one too many hits of the "snowy" stuff. At some point we end up with a sad, disheveled snowman that looks like it's been on a bender.
Shoveling snow; the ultimate test of patience and endurance. At first, you're like, "I got this! It's just a few inches." As the snow piles higher, you begin to understand why the medieval peasants used to put in a full days work just to clear a path. Snow isn't just on the ground, on the driveway, the walkway, the sidewalk, oh and the roof, it's f'ing everywhere and your thoughts of grandeur about being a snow-shoveling warrior have been replaced with the realization the your muscles are so revolting against you. The next thing you know; your back is sore, your hands and feet are frozen, and your thoughts of grandeur have gone to the wayside and you are seeking warmth inside!!!
Now; you get inside, it's cold. Wait, you have a heating system! You crank up the thermostat and expect that toasty warmth but instead you spend the rest of the evening toggling between too hot and too cold. You constantly question whether your house is secretly playing some twisted version of "Extreme Temperature Survivor."
Winter is messy; it's chaotic, but kind of hilarious when you step back and look at the absurdity of it all. Between the zippers, ice puddles, socks that defy logic and all the rest of our wonderful winter becomes the ultimate comedy show you did not sign up for but can not seem to escape. You may laugh, cry, slip on the ice and most likely spend 20 minutes trying to put on your coat but we all make it to Spring, eventually!!
Song: My December
By: Linkin Park
https://youtu.be/NIfSmtvob7w?si=kcSlaIKPifkaPJMt
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